You Know Your Fetishes Have Gone Too Far When...

1. You have a lawnmower repair company on speed dial. 2. Double #1 if they offer 24 hour emergency service. 3. There is a sudden drop in the local sheep population and you can't seem to explain all the bl**dy wool in the house. 4. You go to the local dog park to get dates. And maybe meet some people, too. 5. Oil trucks make weekly deliveries to your home, even though you have gas heat. 6. Hardware store clerks know better than to ask "What sort of project is this for?" 7. You browse through small appliances looking for "inspiration." 8. You have a lifetime ban from dog shows, horse auctions, and most pet stores. 9. German ultra porn seems kind of tame to you. 10. You shop for bedroom furniture by comparing the number of tie down points on each piece. I'll add more as I can. Feel free to comment and add your own.